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Guys: We Need To Talk About Your Online Dating Profile… The Do’s + Don’ts You Need to Follow

April 10, 2020

As we’re all in quarantine, I did what I think ALL single people are doing: downloading online dating apps. I mean, we have nothing better to do! Might as well talk to some strangers, right? As I’ve been perusing the profiles in the area, I’ve noticed an unfortunate trend: guys profiles suck. There’s no easy way to put this, guys, but you’re doing yourselves a disservice with your online profiles. I’m going to go through and tell you what you’re doing wrong and what you should be doing to improve your matching percentage. I promise you, this will improve your matches if you follow these simple rules.

YOUR PHOTOS

Your first photo should be just you.

Listen, we don’t want to play Where’s Waldo and figure out which one is actually you by scrolling through multiple group photos and trying to narrow it down. You can include group photos, but do not make it your first one!

Don’t have photos with friends hotter than you.

Sorry, but if I see a significantly hotter friend in your photos, I assume that it’d be awkward when I meet him and am clearly more attracted to him. Do yourself a favor and don’t include you’re super attractive friends in your dating profiles.

Make sure your photos aren’t potato quality.

Seriously, dark, grainy, far away, blurry, pixelated photos are doing you NO favors. We need to see who you are. Your first impression on a dating app is your first photo – don’t blow it with a crappy photo… which leads me to my next point.

Take a selfie.

Yes, when all else fails just take a damn selfie. You don’t have to post this anywhere else but us girls want to see your face! I wouldn’t recommend that they all be selfies, but one will not kill you.

Take your hat/sunglasses off!

I literally cannot stand when a guy has sunglasses and/or a hat on in every single one of his photos. Take. Them. Off. I assume you’re insecure about your looks or hair if you don’t have a photo without them and that’s a huge turnoff. Take them off.

Smile.

I don’t know why so many guys don’t smile in their photos, but it’s alarming! We don’t want to look at a bunch of essential mug shots of you.

Show your hobbies, but please not just your car.

Unless it’s literally a Lamborghini or something of that nature, we don’t want to see your car or truck. We do, however, want to see you doing your hobbies: playing sports, hiking, with your dog, etc. We love a sneak peak into your actual life!

No shirtless pics unless you’re actually swimming or doing something where it’s acceptable to be shirtless.

I mean, unless you are okay with the title “fuck boy” then by all means, proceed. It screams douchebag.

Don’t have any couple-y looking photos.

Don’t use a photo of you and an ex period, but also be mindful with photos that look like you guys either were dating at the time or at some point in the past.

YOUR BIO

Tell (even vaguely) what you do.

Listen, we’re not all gold diggers, but your occupation says a lot about you: what kind of hours you’d be available to hang out; how long you were in school to do it; what type of lifestyle you might have. It says more than just your salary, I promise, and it’s not something you can avoid. Just get it over with.

List your actual age.

Please do not lie about your age. We’ll figure it out. Stop wasting everyone’s time with this one.

Say what you’re looking for.

Listen, if you just want a hookup, that’s fine. Just say that. There will be plenty of girls who are into that and you’ll find them much faster if you state it clearly rather than talking with girls who are looking for an actual relationship. It’s truly win-win.

Show some personality and write something.

Say something in your bio! Blank bios get an automatic swipe left from most girls. It doesn’t have to be a novel or something deeply insightful. Share your hobbies, your favorite foods, a random fun fact about you. Give us something to work with if we’ve got to message first or try to initiate some conversation. A little effort goes a long way.

Girls, I’d love to hear more tips you’d like to give the guys on their dating profiles in the comments.

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